Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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