Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
