I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
