i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
