Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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