idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
