i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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