I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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