But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
