I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Farmville is her only friend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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