I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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