were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
