I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
