Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
