Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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