Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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