I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
