That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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