My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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