Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
