You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
