We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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