as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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