we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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