"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
