Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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