I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize