I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
