ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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