is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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