I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize