i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
