you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
