I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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