bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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