Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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