I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
