it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
