Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
