So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
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Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize