Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
