I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
