I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
