we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
