O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
