how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
