Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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