he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's always time for handjobs
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
