so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize