no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
