There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
