The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The maid of honor just puked.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
