Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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