I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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