I need help removing her.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Randomize
