Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
