Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
