Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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