dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my phone needs a breathalizer
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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