I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
