He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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