In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
