I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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