I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Randomize
