We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
